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*puts aside vodka, leans back in chair to deliver a diatribe*

You need to realize nobody cares what you think. Going on and on about nonsense does not win you any favors. Look at me, do I go on and on about nothing? No, everything I say is so important they wish I had lived two thousand years ago so they could add it into the bible or such. What you say, not so much. Like the unstoppable force and the immovable object; well, you don't have to move the object, you can just punch a clean hole right through it. I never heard it called the indestructible object. Furthermore, people who talk in metaphors are all stupid, like a solar-powered flashlight. Actually, I'm not drunk, you are. You are a sun-addled leper drunk with ironic power and you are wishing you had a nice chair like mine. But you talk to much. Why can't you just say what you mean and shut up? Well you should listen to me, I know more than you do, and if you do not listen, then to hell with you. I have to relocate my shoulder and chase down fake people in the night, I don't have time for your faux recalcitrance and all the begging to be hit.

(really if you are confused with the purposeful absurdity of this then I have weeded you out)

watch out for 'zeroes' being 'o's and shit.

The mangy dog ran yelping through the fields, mererly 10 pounts of fetid hound flesh pumping its way along as fast as it could. It could see its destination, eyes began to bulge with determination;. and, finally, it was there--sailing off the cliff to its doom, merely a howlng of joy echoing through the canyon.

I am not suicidal. Worry about your pets.

Well I am just mad as hell apparently.